I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All the doctor said was why
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
