He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
