when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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