Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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