I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
