Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
