if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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