He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think my vagina is haunted
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
