i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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