remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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