:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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