She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
