dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
