you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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