I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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