guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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