I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
