I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
