She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh god it's open bar.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
