apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
