she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there was a trapeze. enough said
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
