508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
