It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
