just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
