i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
