On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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