Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
