margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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