Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
