I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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