Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
