how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
