i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
