i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Life is so much better after having sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
