I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
