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well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
