He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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