Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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