On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
