erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
