but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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