That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize