At least make sure they are 18
Why
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
