I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
