And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
