Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
