Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
