This girl is more easily done than said...
I puked a lego.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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