You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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