I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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