At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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