I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
