Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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