you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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