another moral hangover. fuck.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize