North Korea, Best Korea!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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